The Thing About Cousins Is
by LittleRottenApple
Summary: Lenore and Noreen, best friends, start the year off with..a heated argument?..whats going on this year? Remus is getting as head full of greys! James is crying about beans! And dont even get started on Sirius! SiriXOC RemXOC AU modern
1. Chapter 1

**The Thing About Cousins Is...**

Lenore and Noreen, best friends, start the year off with..a heated argument?..whats going on with this year? Remus is getting as head full of greys! James is crying about beans! And dont even get me started on Sirius! SiriXOC RemXOC slighty AU

**LittleRottenApple: **Okies, first things off, this story IS VERY similar to another out there by SoundsLikeFish.....and before you start complaining....I AM SOUNDSLIKE FISH.....so there is no plagiarism....or however you spell it :)

the story was origially written with BlackSnowPetals, however, she dropped out, Harry Potter is obviously not "cool" enough, and anyway, i get all creative direction.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

anyway...this story has been tweaked and modified for XxSara-sanxX, she IS Lenore ^^

FLAMERS WILL BE LAUGHED AT AND SPAMMERS....SPAMMED BACK...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

**Disclaimer:**** I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!....****although I am sure that we would all like to own Harry potter and have a marauder all of our own . . . if we did...there would be less Harry and his slightly emo troubles and more marauderness and general fun . . . the only things I own are a full set of the books . . . and a set of quidditch towels I got when I was 8, and a picture of myself at platform 9 3/4. . .**

there...you made me say it, i hope your happy, aaahhhh you legal types ruin all my fun *sulks*

**Warnings: its rated M for a reason . . . bad language, adult situations, crudeness, some pervyness...ooh . . . and some sick dark humour and double entendres. . Or however you spell it and some minor spoilers in later chapters!**

Enjoy...littlerottenapple (soundslikefish) xxx

**Chapter 1: Sept 5th: Exhausting Train Rides **

Lenore Niamh Potter, a pure blood, in Sixth year, of the Gryffindor house, cousin of the one and only James 'fat-head' Potter (oh-so-lovingly nicknamed by Lily Evans), was currently being primped and preened by Mother Dearest and Aunt Gisela on platform 9 and 3 quarters.

Her mother curled her fingers through her daughter's tangled chestnut hair with a scowl of distaste at its length, (being barely an inch and a half long, which was not a suitable length for girls to wear in the Potter household, well, at least in hers.) on her face while her Aunt, wearing a similar expression, riffled through her nieces lovingly worn shoulder bag to make sure she had not forgotten anything this year. Lenore, being a pureblood had grown used to the traditions and expectations of one, such as being clean, tidy and organized, plus appearing beautiful and graceful without any effort (though it takes quite a lot to keep a straight face) and lastly to show what a well mannered and well educated pureblood you are thus making a respectable impression and showing to the world how well her family has raised her.

Yes, the life of a pureblooded female witch was quite...robotic? And as much as she hated it, all the manners were truly embedded and came almost naturally now. If not. Well you'd suffer the consequences.

However, such a show of pureblooded-ness was not a reflection of another girl, who was currently making quite a racket with her shrieking. The voice sounded quite familiar somehow to Lenore. She quirked an eyebrow curiously, as did her mother and aunt, but they tutted; disgusted.

Looking around to see what the cause of all the noise was, she recognized four familiar figures standing in the center of the crowd. Making most of the noise, first, was her cousin James who was trying to hold back the second figure, the one and only Sirius Orion black, who was attempting to place his large but willowy hands over the mouth of the third person who was the cause of all this mess, the usually reserved Noreen Seren Black (Lenore's best friend and infamous, for all the right reasons may I add, cousin of Sirius).

The fourth figure was Noreen's mother (a heavily lidded, portly, platinum blonde witch with a very round face) who was currently shrieking at Noreen about being a traitor…It was the same row they got into every year before the train left platform 9 and 3 quarters; why wasn't she a Slytherin like the rest of her family? (Excluding Sirius)

Lenore decided that she would board the train and wait for her friend to come to her, she knew better than to interrupt an argument between the members of the Black family, she had more than her share of angry members of the Black family throughout her years at Hogwarts. She decided that leaving her friend to cool down would be the best option. Making hasty goodbyes to her family who gave her only the briefest hug and stiff practiced kiss on the cheek, she quickly pulled her trunk and cat onto the train and into an empty compartment carriage.

She placed her trunk in the overhead rack, shut the door, and sunk into the plush seats facing towards the destination because she had learnt her lesson the previous year; when the train had stopped suddenly and she had ended up being thrown off her seat and onto a smirking Sirius Black's lap. She cringed at the memory, as she remembered how red she turned from realizing she nearly had her hand on his _crotch (ooooh the shame)._

Lenore snapped out her thoughts when the compartment door was flung open forcefully with a resounding THWACK! By Noreen who then threw herself angrily into the seat opposite and proceeded to pull offending faces and flicked a few choice gestures out the window at her seething mother, black nail polish chipping with the force of being repeatedly clinked against the cool, foggy glass of the compartment window.

An awkward silence ensued, by which time, the Hogwarts express was already in the country; green fields passed and rain drizzling against the window and the gentle swaying of the train was slowly rocking her to sleep, however the silence was shattered by Noreen who had an ugly scowl upon her face, framed by a pointed fringe, which Lenore could have sworn hadn't been there when the last Hogwarts year had finished…

"Thanks for your help, I _really_ appreciate it, you _really_ saved my ass back there." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm and sounded quite venomous, but was their a quake to her voice?

"'Reen, I thou-." The Startled witch attempted to explain but was silenced by Noreen's icy glare.

"Save it Potter, I know what you thought, and it's not really that encouraging to know what your 'best friend 'thinks of you'" The seething pureblood spat angrily, her face screwing into a scowl.

"What do you mean 'thinks of you? You're not making sense"

"Oooh….like you don't know, oh that's right you don't, because I didn't't hear from you all summer, not even a birthday card or anything, no invites anywhere, no letters, not a word from you Lenore, do I really mean that little to you? AM I THAT WORTHLESS!?" her voice had risen angrily with every word throughout the sentence, only becoming hysterical towards the end. With that, Noreen jumped up and promptly marched out of the compartment but not without throwing an evil deathly death glare at Lenore and then slammed the door with so much force the glass

smashed…

This had never happened before, whenever Noreen was angry she never turned on friend, she usually told her what had happened and let her console her with her soft calm and soothing voice, OR, she went to find a Slytherin to torture.

Lenore was that lost in her train of thought when Sirius flung open the compartment door with so much force he nearly smashed the glass right it had been fixed, his hair was messier and a look of concern plastered upon his face plus his face seemed a little flushed, did he run here?

"What happened???" He asked her frantically, eyes wide and filled with worry.

"What?" The poor witch replied still disorientated after being pulled from her reverie.

"With Noreen!" He exclaimed flailing his arms about for emphasis "I want to know what happened. She's a mess!!" He added still waving his arms impatiently.

Sirius sighed deeply, placed his head in his hands and muttered "One week at _her home_ and look what she's reduced to! I knew I should have made her stay at James' with me ALL of the summer." His hair flopping over his face and down his back.

"What happened to her then?" Lenore pressed, her gentle voice slightly shriller and laced with urgency, which she never usually did unless she lost her composure, in this case she had definitely lost it.

"Dunno, she won't say a word about it, well, not to me at least." He smiled weakly at Lenore but the worry was still on his face. She was beginning to worry, how could her strong and outgoing friend be reduced to this state? They've not even arrived at Hogwarts yet and Noreen has fallen out with her.

Meanwhile, the aforementioned, seething, witch was grabbed and pulled into a compartment which contained the remaining three Marauders. She was roughly thrown onto a seat, by Peter, who was stuffing at least 2 chocolate frogs into his mouth while doing so. She landed next to Remus with a small "Oomph!"

"Urgh Pete, that's gross!! I'm never going to eat a frog again!!" James noted with a grimace, as Pete smiled apologetically but showing the mangled chocolate in his mouth instead and shrugged unhelpfully at the steadily becoming green boy across from him.

"Slhorry Jhameseeeethhhh. I was hungry; I've not eaten for nearly 3 hours!" was the muffled apology from Peter as he watched James' eyes bulge with nausea. "And that's a long time." the chubby boy added after a second thought when he eyed a slice of pumpkin pie that currently lay, undisturbed on the compartment table.

"You don't say…" James rolled his eyes, exasperated "Anyway, Peter and his gross habits aside, what on earth is wrong with you woman? Sirius nearly shit his pants when he heard you shouting, it was funny actually." James crouched in front of Noreen, a bemused expression on his face, whist tapping lightly on the top of her bent head. "He just upped and left… I've never seen him move so fast in all the years I've known him, and that's saying something..." he muttered more to himself than anything.

"Are you awake…?" James asked, slightly confused at the non responsive girl in front of him who was currently eyeing Peter through her thick fringe, distaste stained her face as he belched loudly spraying pieces of chocolate onto James' back…

"Yeah…m'awake." Noreen sniffed while tearing her eyes away from Peter and his snacks…

"Well that's a start" he smiled encouragingly at her "and Peter, IF YOU WANT THAT BLOODY PIE SO MUCH THEN EAT IT, BEFORE I DO!" He boomed at Peter who was staring longingly at the pastry while whimpering and mumbling about the 'lovely texture of the fabulous pie which added to the exquisite stuffing of shredded pumpkin and of course, the mystery spices…'

"Yes, Mr Potter sir..." answered Peter before he grabbed the pie, danced around with it for split second, then sidled quietly out of the compartment, clutching the pie to his chest as if it was made of 26 carat gold, leaving a sticky orange triangle on the blue cotton of his tight shirt, straining against his gut, whilst muttering something about it being his 'precious' and finding its brothers and sisters to eat-err reunite…

"Thank Merlin; I thought he would never leave." Sighed Remus, closing his book and placing it quietly on the table, as if afraid that loud noises would send the distraught girl hysterical again. "Noreen, we don't want to push you or pressure you into telling us anything," Remus began quietly, sliding closer to the distraught girl, while James looked on, with a puzzled expression spreading over his features, "I understand that you might not want to tell us anything, and I respect that, I know its sometimes hard to tell people things, but just remember that if you ever want to talk, we are never too far away ok?" he spoke softly, as if talking to a toddler who had just dropped their ice cream cone, while stroking her wavy, raven hair, a soft smile on his face.

"Moony? 'Reen?"

"James?" Remus answered for both himself and the girl who was currently clinging tightly to his baggy t-shirt, feeling that Noreen wasn't going to answer to any non-direct questions for at least a few days.

"Wanna bean?" James asked, a goofy grin spreading across his features as he held out a box of recently opened Berty Botts every flavoured beans, rattling it under the werewolf's nose. However, Remus never got the chocolate bean he wanted, because the train lurched forward, causing James to lose his balance and his grip on the box…the next few moments happened almost as if in slow motion, the box spiraled through the air in a graceful arc, its gymnastic display ended by tumbling to the floor, scattering rotating beans of every flavour and colour onto Remus and his companion, many of which, bounced off a furious Noreen's head and into her clothes, whilst James was screaming about the 'terrible loss' and scrambling madly to save the beans so he could honor them with a 'Beany Funeral'…

"I never really had the time to get to know you, we never really spent much time together, M-M-M-Merlin bless you and rest in peace lil' b-b-b-b-b-beanies", he let out with a sob, whilst a furious Noreen audibly ground her teeth and summoned a glare which only a member of the Black family would be able to manage, slowly reaching for her wand, which had been stuck rather roughly in one of the pockets in her tight black jeans.

"POTTER…I swear that the bat bogey hex was designed just for you", she ground out, through clenched teeth.

She drew her wand back but Remus decided to come to the rescue as he didn't think that dragging a cursed-in-oblivion-James Potter into Hogwarts was a good way to spend his free time when he could be sitting reading a new book and munching on his various and tasty bars of chocolate…

He wrestled a mutinous Noreen back into her seat and pinned her arms Behind her back to stop her from cursing James with the hexes she was currently hissing angrily at him and flailing around attempting (and failing) to squirm out of Remus' firm grip.

James watched in fascination (and horror) at her vicious attempts to free herself…He had scurried to the very back of the seat and squished himself further into the cushion when she nearly escaped and lunged at his neck only to be dragged back onto Remus who had regained a firm grip around her waist

James whimpered pathetically and hid under his lanky arms in a tight ball when she spat out some very creative but nonetheless frightening threats about him and the loss of his manhood…

At one of the many pathetic whines James emitted, whether out of exhaustion or sheer madness, Noreen began to laugh hysterically at the whimpering James Potter whose fear increased at this sudden mood change. She sagged in a helpless heap in Remus' arms as she continued to laugh, the poor wolf had turned an amusing shade of tomato, but luckily for him, James and Noreen both had their eyes closed….James out of fear and Noreen who was obviously too busy laughing sadistically…

"Er…lets go to the bathroom Noreen…clean up and calm down?" Remus tentatively suggested, still shocked at how strong she was. _Should I thank my werewolf strength? I might not have been able to keep her from killing James without it…_He thought to himself grimly.

Noreen wiped away her tears from her eyes and nodded while catching Remus' gaze…they gazed into one and another's eyes for what felt like a century but was actually only a matter of seconds. Remus suddenly snapped himself back from the captivating molten pewter eyes, when he remembered that James was watching then with an amused grin on his face, well, quite sly actually…_that can't be good_ Remus' conscience fretted knowingly because James always gets that grin when his brain is ticking away, scheming…

Meanwhile, away from the excitement of Noreen's little excursion, Lenore and Sirius sat, twiddling their thumbs in a relatively awkward silence, having just enjoyed five minutes of Peter's company, which, for Lenore, was more than enough, having never been one to revel in the chubby boy's company. Having finally had enough of the un-nerving silence, Sirius decided to say the first thing to come into his head.

"N-nice weather we're having eh?" he gestured with his thumb towards the window laughing nervously.

"Sirius, it's a torrential downpour…" Lenore frowned at the weather (she had never been one to enjoy grey skies and murky weather) but smiled none the less at Sirius; she was secretly grateful he had spoken first because she was at a loss for words…

"So it is. I never noticed", Sirius replied while ruffling the back of his hair, which Lenore knew for a fact that he only did when he was embarrassed or nervous.

"…" she fixed him with an incredulous look, raising one delicately arched eyebrow ever so slightly.

"…" Sirius leaned forward slightly; craning his neck to an almost inhuman length "Hmmmm…" he trailed off as if pondering something.

"Sirius, what are you looking at?" she asked with a skeptical expression on her face, but in her eyes she looked slightly apprehensive. Lenore turned around to see if the object that so suddenly had said boy captivated was levitating behind her, upon seeing nothing she turned back to the blushing Black.

"Lenore, have you ever thought about using padding? I mean, your extreeeeeemmmeeellyy small compared to the standards set by 'Reen." he said almost conversationally, leaning back in his seat, a goofy looking smirk plastered across his handsome features as his eyes scrutinized her chest.

"P-padding? What are you on about?" Lenore's eyes widened as she cocked her head, a habit she did when asking a question.

"Your BOOBS of course! You have barely any! What are you, b-cup at the MOST? No good for groping, padding would make it all better", he flashed her smile, giving her a thumbs up before continuing "I mean, not that looks are everything, buuuuut, you have the body of a pre-pubescent boy! My cousin puts you to so much shame!"

"…" She stared at him, absolutely flabbergasted obviously unsure that she heard right…She did not have small boobs thank you very much!! Maybe her mother was correct about how her terrible posture and the way she stands does make her look as though she is flat...Well at least she doesn't stick her chest out and flaunt her bosoms to the world like those shameless sluts at school, and Noreen, who of course wasn't shameless or a slut, she just couldn't exactly hide her curvaceous figure, even if her robes were fastened over her clothes.

"Did I hear correctly…?" Lenore's face was void of all emotion; she drew a deep breath before fixing him with a murderous glare…

**A few seconds later.**

Sirius Orion Black, the womanizer of Hogwarts, prankster extraordinaire and pure blood to boot, suddenly found himself with a very red and painful mark on his left cheek which was in the shape of a feminine hand. Placing his hand against his burning cheek, he looked across at the girl who had slapped him so hard his face nearly turned 180 degrees and cause him to nearly fell out of his seat…this girl was the same girl who was sending him a mutinous glare

_Last time I ever speak my mind _he thought while sending a small pout across to her, which received a threatening raise of THE hand…

"…Meanie", Sirius said while sticking his tongue out at her childishly

"…Pervert..." She replied scathingly

"Now where would you get that idea Miss Potter?" he said all the while drawing himself up and puffing indignantly, attempting to fake a sulk, but instead reminding Lenore of one of those strange spiky blow fishes…

"…Mr Black, may I remind you that, _You_ flirt shamelessly with SECOND YEAR GIRLS, you SPY on your COUSIN _and_ you make a point of mentioning…" she gestured wildly around her torso.

"..It not my fault! Your boobs _are_ SMALL!! AND Noreen leaves her UNDERWEAR all over the room, how can I NOT know her size if its dangling off the chandelier right in front of my face??!!" he shot back flailing his arms madly while ignoring the part about second years as he did not know how to reply. It wasn't often Sirius Black got flustered.

"You share a room!?" she asked in disbelief and her eyes wide, thinking of the worst scenario, rather graphic images flashing through her mind making her want to claw her eyes out with her fingernails and mash her brains into pulp with a wooden clothes hanger that had the word 'Beaver' emblazoned on it.

"ITS NOT LIKE THAT!" he nearly screamed, the same images flashing into his mind, also accompanied with the look of pure horror on Lenore's face "Who's the perv now?" he waggled his eyebrows at her with a self-satisfied smirk, earning an indignant 'humph!' from the horrified girl and another slap…

"Ouch!!"

"Serves you right." she quipped with a satisfied smirk. A very slytherin-ish smirk at that...but none the less, it suited her somehow.

"Did I ever mention how pretty you are?" he quickly said, desperate to change the subject.

"…"

"No?"

"No." she answered, suddenly becoming very interested in her fingernails.

"REALLY!? Shame on me!" he gasped, sliding from his seat to sit next to her, grasping her chin in between his thumb and forefinger, jerking her gaze away from her nails, and into his face. She blushed slightly at the invasion of her personal space by, to her (and the majority of girls at Hogwarts), the most handsome boy in the entire wizarding world. Their eyes connected, pale grey bore into Lenore's leafy green orbs. Her breathing quickened as the gap between them began slowly closing, feeling Black's warm breath on her face she drew in a sharp breath; he smelled of chocolate, no doubt having eaten a chocolate frog or two since he last brushed his teeth and a scent that was entirely his own, a mix of summer fruits and ice cream? Just as their lips were about to brush, they were interrupted by the muffled conversation of two very familiar voices, which were very close to their compartment door, causing them both to jump back, blushing. Sirius rubbed the back of his neck and Lenore admired the intricate pattern work on the seats.

"…'Reen, that's just unreasonable, I'm sure he didn't mean to drop the beans" a male's voice drifted in through the glass window of the door.

"Humph, but they went down my top…" an annoyed voice of a female quipped

"…"

"I think there's still some in my bra…."

"Er…I wonder what James is doing…." The embarrassed squeak of the male trying to change the topic away from women's under clothing.

"No Idea, I'm bloody useless at divination but I'm pretty sure he is still giving them a funeral." The female replied thoughtfully.

Both Sirius and Lenore leaned in, trying to here more about the said bean situation, Sirius pressing unconsciously against her back, earning him a half-hearted glare and a light nudge in the ribs.

"You have a bean in your hair." The unmistakable voice of Remus noted sounding quite amused.

"I have beans in my underwear; your point is Mr Lupin?" Noreen responded matter-of-factly, clearly unabashed about talking of underwear and proceeded to reach her hands under the front of her t-shirt to re-arrange the item of clothing, that had earlier earned Sirius a slap, sending a cascade of warm, slightly flat beans clattering to the floor of the small corridor.

"I HAD beans in my underwear, 1...2...3……9 of them!!" she exclaimed loudly

"…" There was no reply from Remus

"…"

"Really, that was uncalled for, you're in public Noreen…" they heard Remus mutter, in a flustered tone.

"Well I AM related to dick-head over there who is staring at us, what do you expect me to do, Remus?" she stated with a smirk

"Dick-head?" Remus asked incredulously.

"Yup" Remus followed the accusing finger which pointed at a Mr Sirius Black, who was gawping at the pair with his mouth open, like a carp.

There was an awkward tension filled silence that could have probably been cut by a knife…

The silence was finally broken by a indignant Sirius Black who finally remembered that he had been insulted.

"I' am NOT a Dick-head, Noreen!!!" He whined childishly, pouting at her, she responded with a twitch of the eye.

"Yes you are"

"No I'm not!!" reaching high decibels and becoming alarmingly squeaky...

"YES YOU ARE!!" Noreen screamed at him, stepping into his compartment, she was losing her patience; still pissed off from her earlier argument with her mother, she was not in the most pleasant of moods….

"NO I'M NOT!!" Sirius screamed back at her mockingly, he was oblivious to her growing homicidal desire to curse his manhood out of existence.

"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE SIRIUS!! STOP BEING SO FUCKING STUPID!!" Noreen screeched at him, obviously reaching snapping point and losing all composure. Sirius recoiled and backed away, his eyes wide like a bunny in headlights, his form slightly cowering. He had always really feared her temper, ever since they had been able to talk; he always hoped never to be on the receiving end of it. Sirius had seen many brave (or stupid) people angering her until she snapped, it was never pretty….

Let's say they usually ended up in the hospital wing for spell damage that lasted weeks…

"R-R-R-Reen I-I-I'm so-sor-sorry. I d-didn-"

"SHUT UP FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE!!! YOU CAN'T TALK YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE, YOU ASS!!!" She cut him off, tired of listening to him stutter like Peter, she gripped onto her, black hair crushing the waves in her hands and screamed in frustration, a scream that was heard 3 carriages away, before, finally, putting her left fist through the glass of the compartment window, sending a shower of glass shards into the corridor, spraying over a couple of, what seemed to be, first years, who quickly scurried away, muttering about "Crazy p.m.s-ing women".

Remus froze, he had never witnessed such a display of blatant fury, had heard many stories from Sirius, James and Lenore, but he had never believed that they were true, until now. He turned his amber eyes towards Sirius, who was silent, pressing himself as far as he could into the corner of the seat, his eyes as wide as saucers, his mouth moving wordlessly; praying for his life to be spared. Switching his gaze to Lenore, he noted that she was half way out of her seat, frozen in place. Her eyes as wide as Sirius', any hints of colour gone from her face, leaving it a drained, grey colour.

"Stop it Noreen."

They all turned, stunned at this sudden confidence in Lenore. She never usually stood up against Noreen because it was a common knowledge at Hogwarts that whenever she was pissed off, no one could stop her, only clean up the damage left in her wake. Remus noticed that although Lenore seemed to have maintained her pureblood coldness and composure, her hands were trembling, she was obviously anxious at what would happen next…

"What...?" Noreen asked with an air of compressed calmness, it was un-nerving because she was shaking from holding back her anger.

Lenore swallowed slowly to compose herself and managed to look Noreen in the eye and reply calmly, "Sirius has been worried about you; he doesn't deserve to be shouted at." She narrowed her eyes at the end threateningly, her confidence increasing with each word. She had steadily advanced towards Noreen and was currently standing in front of her.

"Shut up. You don't know anything. NOTHING!! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING AT ALL!! STOP PRETENDING YOU CARE!!!"

Lenore merely narrowed her eyes at this and bit her lip angrily, her body shaking and rage radiating off her.

"I'm NOT pretending"

"YES you are!!"

"NO I'm not!!"

Remus' eyes flickered from the arguing pair anxiously; he was never one for disagreements and hated any form of it. He glanced at Lenore who was surveying them, amusement evident in her sparkling moss hued eyes as they continued to shout at each other, their voices reaching an amazing volume.

**(Meanwhile, with James).**

"Pete mate" James sobbed, putting his arm around the chubby boy's shoulders after finally having got most of the beans back into the box, "where should we bury them?"

"Near the willow?"

James looked up, into Peter's murky, brown eyes "oh Pete, that's so romantic! I love you mate!" he choked out, throwing himself onto the smaller boy, sobbing into the crook of his neck, whilst a disturbed Peter put his arms awkwardly around his distraught friend, patting him lightly on the back.

It just so happened, as if a cruel act of fate, that the one and only Lily Evans, the only object of James's desire, was stood outside the door, watching the strange interaction between the boys, distraught over one packet of spilt beans.

Feeling very disturbed, she decide the best thing to do would be to walk away, knowing that she would be having nightmares for weeks, nightmares about HER James being touched by the Pettigrew boy, the said boy didn't seem to be very popular with anyone at this particular moment.

Remus was VERY worried, well, worried wasn't a word for it, he was fearing for Lenore's life, having never seen Noreen so worked up in his time at Hogwarts, he could have sworn that her swirling Stormy grey eyes had flashed red more than once, but it could have just been the wolf inside him sensing emotions.

"For the last time, IM NOT PRETENDING!" screamed Lenore who had long lost her cool exterior, grabbing at the other witches left arm, getting a handful of black material and flesh, not noticing the wince that hung across Noreen's features, its quickly as the wince came, it was gone, leaving behind nothing but pure rage, the small twitch in her features would have been missed by any normal person, there was however, one person in the compartment who noticed it, Remus became increasingly worried when the wolf had picked up on the small facial expression.

"Don't touch me." it was a command, the low, almost feral tone of Noreen's voice immediately made Lenore drop the arm, which was now bloodied from the window, the scarlet liquid slowly dripping down Noreen's fingers and onto the floor, Remus watched with bated breath the metallic tang of the scarlet liquid filled his nostrils and stirred the wolf inside of him, fearful of what could come next, he gazed at Sirius, who looked horrified, his mouth open slightly and his eyes wider than before, his forehead damp from the beads of sweat that had formed in this earlier argument.

He was brought, once again, out of his observations his best friend by a gasp from Lenore, who was slowly edging away from her friend as she gave her a evil smirk after she examined the blood dribbling down her arm like veins, reminiscent of snakes.

"Oh deary, If only you knew, if only you knew how awful, painful, summers are" she giggled manically, bringing her injured hand level with her face examining her cuts and the purplish bruise that was now beginning to form across her knuckles.

"Stop it! Stop it both of you." The order came not from Sirius, but from Remus. The usually quiet werewolf was now out of his seat, standing firmly in between Lenore and Noreen, amber eyes fixed firmly on the floor in front of him, swirling with pain, worry and a hint of fear.

"This is stupid, just settle it without fighting, I can stand much more. Please." he glanced at the quarrelling witches, a hurt look across his handsome features.

Noreen grit her teeth and hung her head, unable to take her eyes from Remus, she glanced at Lenore who hung her head and held a similar expression to her own.

"This isn't over yet, I won't back down without an apology…" Noreen finally whispered

"I'm sorr-"

"No!! NOT YOU!!" She cut Sirius off impatiently flailing her arms exasperatedly.

"I meant Potter here." She spat out bitterly as she pointedly glared at the girl facing her, who returned the gesture with a cool glare and stuck her chin in the air haughtily like her mother had taught her. She sneered down at them while flicking her, a carefully elected finger…

"I won't apologize for something that wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything" She replied coldly, boy was she beginning to look more and more Slytherin-ish by the second.

"Exactly!! You didn't do anything!! You didn't help me at all!! What kind of friend are you!" Noreen cried at her, her glare could have pierced and killed…Lenore scoffed and snapped haughtily back that there was nothing she could do, she couldn't intervene nor say anything to help.

"You only live a few miles away, Hag!"

"Do you know how hard it is to catch a Muggle bus!!??"

"That's it this is WAR!!" Noreen finally roared at Lenore who merely scowled back

"Fine. War it is then"

"War…?" Sirius squeaked uncertainly as he eyed the two girls glaring at each other, fists clenched and teeth gritted together so tightly you could the grinding.

"War is a bit much, isn't it…?" Remus feebly quipped, glancing nervously at them too

"Oh this is no ordinary war…" Noreen replied softly with an edge of danger to her voice, Sirius cowered away slightly with an whimper.

"What kind of war will it be…?" Remus inquired quietly, he surveyed them uneasily as they eyed each other like hawks, they both smiled evilly simultaneously as a flash of understanding flickered between them.

"A Prank war, my dear Remus…it will be a prank war." Lenore answered with a smirk.

"And what a war it will be." Noreen smirked back, her eyes narrowing dangerously whipping out her wand and placing it underneath Lenore's chin, whilst Lenore had placed her own wand against Noreen's forehead, each muttering an incantation with disastrous consequences.

Several Moments Later

"You…you FIEND! What on earth have you done!?" shrieked Lenore, her voice several pitches higher than normal, as is she had drunk several helium filled balloons, she clapped her hands over her mouth, her eyes widening, realizing how young she sounded, Noreen was leaning against Remus for support through laughing, but stopped suddenly, gripping Remus harder than before, groaning and sinking to the floor.

"Oh Merlin! Look at me! NOW!!" Remus ordered, bending quickly to where Noreen was crouched.

"m' gunna be sick" She mumbled thickly, groaning slightly, before placing her hand over her mouth and skidding out of the compartment and into the small bathroom at the end of the corridor, slamming the door.

Remus threw a slightly patronizing look towards Sirius and Lenore before leaving to stand outside the bathroom, listening to the witch inside retch several times before choking and retching again.

Noreen stormed out again 5 minutes later and headed for the compartment, she had a livid expression etched on her face and looked ready to slice, dice and torture slowly until death…quite frightening in simple terms…apart from her eyes, which were flashing all the colours of the rainbow in a fast repetitive order.

Lenore edged away slightly…knowing that when her friend looks at her like that she is going to be the tester for a new spell…

BANG!!

The noise like a gunshot rang though the train, Noreen blew casually on the tip of her smoking wand triumphantly ,as Lenore opened one eye warily, wondering what she might resemble after that spell…perhaps a octopus crossed with a slug?

She grimaced at the images that flashed through her mind, each more hideous than the previous, as she lost herself in her thoughts she never noticed a certain scruffy black haired marauder skipping down the train towards them…

She took her hands from her face and looked at the person closest to her…she suddenly found herself feeling overwhelmed by a warm feeling, she felt butterflies in her stomach, her heart felt like it was fluttering and she felt confident and sexy for some reason...my god did she feel brilliant. Oh gods, he was gorgeous…well she always knew he was…the black hair, cute dimples that appeared when he grinned that adorable grin…she felt like swooning.

James peered at her face worriedly; his poor cousin looked a little out of it; "Hey, are you ok-"

He never finished his sentence; well it's hard to, isn't it? When you have a pair of lips against yours…

Everyone, apart from Noreen stared in shock, their mouths agape at the scene in front of them. Sirius felt particularly pissed for some reason he had yet to identify.

Why would he feel so angry all of a sudden at seeing his best mate is being kissed passionately by a pretty witch...who was said best friend's cousin...

James looked beyond scared as he jerked away from her, his eyes wide, making him look like a bunny in headlights. His _cousin_, his _first_ cousin had just kissed him!! He fell into a pit of despair; he had been saving himself for Lily!! His precious Lily flower!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!

Lenore pouted at being roughly shoved back; she peered up at him from beneath her dark lashes demurely with a sly smirk.

"James" She purred as she walked towards him, her hand reaching out to his face. He turned white and began trembling; this was very scary; he was being…seduced by his cousin!! What on Merlin's beard is going on!! His eyes darted desperately to his friends, first to Remus who looked half amused and half worried, Peter (who silently slunk in after James) looked at him jealously and was obviously wishing it could be him instead of James, Sirius…oh god…he looked ready to rip James limb from limb, he had this homicidal gleam in his eyes!! He nearly whimpered from the glare Sirius sent him, he finally looked to Noreen and saw to his shock, she was smiling evilly, her eyes narrowed to slits…

He nearly jumped out of his skin and numerous ideas of how to run away sprang immediately to mind; Lenore had just pressed her body against his and was currently caressing his cheek, playing with his hair and tracing the shape of his lips…he could't move he was paralyzed in absolute shock, he was going to be scarred for the rest of his life...

He gasped as she placed her hand on the front of his jeans, before slowly coming to his senses and pushing her off, into a seething Sirius' chest. Making her to pout coyly, she chuckled as she flashed him a seductive look.

"Jaammeesss don't just push me away when we both know you want me...or is it 'cos they're here...? We can find a nice, little compartment for ourselves then..." she breathed, emphasizing the end suggestion; pushing away from Sirius and placing her hands on wither side of a trembling James' hips.

"!? " His eyes widened ever more as her hand slid further down…

"James!!" she tutted playfully, looking down "its sooo long, hard and masculine" she drawled, dragging out each word, making Sirius normally milky complexion turn a rather lovely shade of puce. She smirked before placing her hand down James' jeans, again, and slowly pulled out his wand, before placing the end against her tongue as if it was a lolly.

By this time, only Sirius and the 'couple' were left standing. Peter had fainted the moment Lenore had put her hand down James' jeans, Noreen was in a fit of giggles and was struggling to breathe, having collapsed onto the floor and Remus was crouched next to her, instructing her on how to get her breath back, only succeeding in making her laugh harder.

Sirius finally had enough and pulled her off James, he held onto her angrily while glaring at James. However James looked highly relieved and began to sob happily on his knees, onto which he had crumpled just moments before.

"Thanks pads…I was nearly molested!!" He sobbed into his hands…this only made Noreen dissolve into more hysterical giggles as she watched James who was beyond relief and was dramatically hugging Sirius in joy and Lenore was currently pouting sulkily at being rejected.

"What exactly did you do to her, Noreen?" Remus asked softly as he rubbed her back gently to stop her from choking in laughter. Noreen calmed a little with the odd, wheezy giggle, she wiped the tears of laughter away and smiled widely at Remus looking like the Cheshire cat from Alice in the Wonderland.

"Oh…it was just a little spell I came up with when I was bored…" She trailed off with a even more sinister smile "It makes people become the complete opposite of themselves…and makes them fall in love with the first person they see of the opposite sex"

Remus gaped at her, how on earth did she think of such a spell!? Imagine all the spells she combined for this effect!! It was amazing but strange at the same time!!

Noreen's only reply to his stunned face was a large, toothy grin.

Sirius stared in horror at his cousin, his eyes swiveled to Lenore who was attempting to flirt with James again…she had backed him against their compartment wall!!

He reached Noreen within two large steps and grabbed her up of the floor with one swipe, boy, was he livid.

"Take. Back. The. Spell." He hissed through gritted teeth, he still had no idea why he was feeling so murderous, but he knew he didn't like seeing her flirt with James…He was too angry to realize the obvious…Noreen, his hostage, raised on eyebrow and stared incredulously at him, she slowly broke into an evil grin as she eyed his angry form...

…She knew.

"No" she replied simply while jutting her chin haughtily out at him.

His face turned red as he snarled at her; "NOW!!"

She merely snorted at this but rolled her eyes and flicked her wand muttering something incoherently.

THUMP!

He released Noreen's collar and swiftly turned to look behind him where an unconscious Lenore lay in a crumpled heap. He walked back to her but not without sending a glare at his cousin, before picking Lenore's limp body up and carrying her down the train to the Nurse, followed by James, who was half supporting, half dragging a very green Peter past a group of giggling Hufflepuff girls. Thus leaving Noreen and Remus quite alone.

"Well, I think that this means lunch" She giggled, pulling herself off the floor and pulling a bar of slightly broken chocolate out of her pocket and threw herself onto a seat, ripping open the wrapper and offering some to Remus, who accepted and munched without hesitation.

"Although it was funny, you really shouldn't have done that to Lenore." he said mumbled thickly, through a mouth of sugary, Honeyduke's, creamy, brown perfection (chocolate you perv, this isn't one werewolf one cup). Throwing a reprimanding glance at Noreen and getting the famous Black family 'kicked-puppy' eyes in return, accompanied by a quivering lip.

"But Wemmyyyyy . . . " she put her index finger to her mouth "it was funny" she whispered, very close to his ear. Remus was paralyzed in shock, he couldn't believe how close she was...and why on Merlin's beard was he feeling a stomach ache at this time?... but it wasn't like all the stomach aches he'd had before...this time it felt a bit more fluttery and it was a happy feeling, and not one of your food churning around your stomach screaming "puke damnit!" feelings. It was more of a "look at her now Remus" kind of feeling. Doing as his brain was instructing, Remus slowly turned his head to face Noreen, jumping back slightly, their faces were merely centimeters apart...their noses nearly touching...his breath hitched in his throat as he felt himself lean forward to her...once again captured by her molten, swirling, pewter eyes. Their dry lips slowly, clumsily bumped together, a strangely hypnotizing and unique in a sense, clumsy, with a random rhythm and with no more weight than that. The smell and taste of Honeyduke's finest chocolate truffle flooding each and every sense, becoming the overpowering driving force as the kiss became more urgent and heated. His hand moved to wrap around her waist, pulling her closer. He could feel her heartbeat fluttering madly against his chest, he curled his other hand into her dark tresses, stroking and caressing until she gave a soft moan into his mouth, sending shivers throughout his body. Each were too lost in each other to have noticed the compartment door sliding open …

"BLOODY HELL!!! What in the love of all things wizardly is going on in HERE????!"

Remus nearly hit the ceiling of the compartment in fright, pushing away from Noreen; with much hesitance might I add, pulled out of his happy trance by James, who had, most inconveniently, interrupted his special moment. He stayed deathly still, with wide eyes and a guilty look, as was the witch who's waist he was holding so carefully to his own, both knowing they had been caught red-handed, red lipped and red cheeked. Remus studied the scruffy haired marauder, stood in the doorway. Even though the romantic atmosphere began to fade from the carriage the feeling of shock still radiating from James was over whelming. He stands agape...he had just witnessed a-a-an impossible feat!! Remus the goody smart nice guy was just eating the face of Sirius' slightly mentally unbalanced and in his opinion psychotic cousin!! First he was near molested by his COUSIN, now this!! he must be in a dream...it cannot be possible..._I'LL PROBABLY GO GREY BY TOMORROW_ he mused, half scared for his beloved locks and half amused at the idea.

"Oh...sorry Remus" James smirks knowingly at him while waggling his eyebrows. "Maybe I should come back a little later when you both aren't so busy" He gave an annoying and very obvious wink to Remus before slamming the door. Both Noreen and Remus could hear James' evil cackle fade as he pelted full speed back to his own compartment to report everything he had just seen to Peter, if the two students who were involved were lucky, only the Gryffindor's and Ravenclaw's would know by the end of the sorting feast.

Remus let go of Noreens's waist as the shock of what had just happened kicked in. _James had seen. James will tell Peter. The whole of Hogwarts will know. I just kissed Sirius's cousin. I just kissed Sirius's cousin. Oh Merlin help me, I just kissed her. OH LORD, Sirius is going to make me eat my Transfiguration book._

"..mus? REMUS??"

"I just kissed you!" he blurted, his pale scarred face turning a deep crimson, staring at the witch who had edged away from him slightly.

"Yeah, we kissed . . . and James saw."

Both stared at the other for just long enough for a grin to set on their lips, before turning away and giggling like a couple of 8 yr olds in a game of kissy-catch. If only James could have seen them now, collapsed on each other, laughing at each sneaky glance, every new tone bringing out a new peel of giggles from the other.

Back to Sirius and an unconscious Lenore at the nurse's

Sirius had been protectively watching over Lenore as she was tended to by Nurse Flitzby, who had simply gave her a few potions to relax her mind so she will be less confused when she wakes up. She was now sleeping soundly on her side on the hastily conjured white bed; she was barely making a sound save the slight snuffles she made when she snuggled into the pillow finding a comfier position.

He pulled his gaze away from her quickly, realising he'd just been watching her sleeping face and thinking about the softness of her small but lush raspberry lips, her soft frame of hair which was slightly mussed from the day's excitement. Her skin was quite pale, the type of girls that swarmed at him usually had more colour in their skin and wasn't milk white but he couldn't help but find the pale skin against her dark hair was quite attractive. He noticed, fairly amused, that there was a little freckle near the edge of her bottom lip…Her soft-looking red lips…But he was most drawn to her eyes, which were sadly not all that perfect; she needed glasses , as most of the Potter's did, plus at the moment they were closed as she slumbered. He remembered she usually wore dark and slightly thick rimmed glasses which were apparently all the rage in the muggle world...

Yes, he had to stop looking at her. Honestly what was wrong with him?? He couldn't answer it though he knew the answer was somewhere at the back of his mind where he usually locked away things he didn't want to think about or acknowledge.

He was brought back to reality when he heard a muffled groan from Lenore, who was beginning to stir. Her eyebrows were knitted slightly as she stretched her back; since her eyes were still closed she had not noticed Sirius sitting with wide eyes as she arched her back. He noticed that she wasn't all that flat- chested after all...The nurse had taken off her jumper as it was too warm in the compartment, so the curve of her breasts could be seen through her white shirt...

She turned her head to face him sharply when she heard his gasp and felt an uncomfortable feeling, as if she was under some deep scrutiny...She saw Sirius with his jaw hanging open, staring...at her breasts.

Lenore felt her face heat up in rage, how dare he stare like that at her as though she was a piece meat!!

Before Sirius knew what was going on, he only just caught sight of her hand whipping through the air to him

THWACK!!

"**OUCH!!"**

...and thus his cheek was yet again, stinging like hell.

He turned to face the offended female, he gave her a truly pitiful yet adorable puppy-eyed gaze he was famed throughout Hogwarts' students and teachers for but was met with a intensified glare and a slight eye twitch. He let out a little whimper and was relieved to see her expression waver a bit.

"I'm sorry Lee-poo" He mumbled in a cute baby voice, while looking up at her with his best kicked-puppy-eyes.

Lenore's mouth twitched, making her looking slightly mad with her messy hair and dishevelled shirt and skirt...

He gave a slightly manic giggle and her eye twitched in response.

"I've changed my mind miss Potter, I deem you worthy of a C-cup, not too shabby eh?"

"Sirius Black! You have the charm of a Hippogriff with diohreah!"

"No!! Don't hurt me!!" He cried hysterically before cowering into a ball in the corner of the seats as she glowered darkly at him.

PHWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!

The loud sound of the train's whistle tore through the train, stopping Lenore's raised hand from back handing the currently cowering Mssr Black. She turned swiftly and grabbed her robes flinging it on before exiting the room and throwing a look at the pathetic whimpering form that could make giants scream helplessly in a girly high pitched squeals of laughter.

Lenore harrumphed and pursed her lips as she looked down the corridors at the sudden crowd of bustling and noisy students, and the little frightened yet excited first years.

_Yep, this year is going to be dreadfully fun..._not.


	2. Chapter 2

Okies.....I know its a shortie....Basically this is just a filler. . .simply because all my creative juices have been sapped by stupid perfectionists at college. Enjoy...

Until it get my Mojo back...

LittleRottenApple xxx

FLAMERS WILL BE LAUGHED AT AND SPAMMERS....SPAMMED BACK...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

**Disclaimer:**** I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!....****although I am sure that we would all like to own Harry potter and have a marauder all of our own . . . if we did...there would be less Harry and his slightly emo troubles and more marauderness and general fun . . . the only things I own are a full set of the books . . . and a set of quidditch towels I got when I was 8, and a picture of myself at platform 9 3/4. . .**

there...you made me say it, i hope your happy, aaahhhh you legal types ruin all my fun *sulks*

**Chapter 2: Nearing half a million abandoned theories.**

Sirius was astounded and bewildered, it wasn't often that he was rejected in such an undignified manner, well, it was not often that he was rejected. In his mind he mused, mulling over theories of why Lenore had left so suddenly, it wasn't as if he had said anything offensive, had he? Panic surged through his body.

'_Was it when I pulled her away from James? Does she really love him? NO, he is her cousin, I know they are weird, but I doubt they would be into incest, even the most noble and pure house of Black aren't stupid enough to date first cousins, well, if you don't include the Malfoy's' _Sirius' sudden depression lifted with this thought, Lenore wouldn't love James, he wasn't her type, or she wouldn't have waited until now to show it, it was something much deeper than that.

As Sirius rose from his makeshift seat, nurse Flitzby's own trunk, and wandered into the bustling corridor, his mind began to wander, each theory, as to why Lenore passed up a perfect groping opportunity, becoming more and more wild, each theory alarming his subconscious more and more, Did she like someone else?…Was it Hagrid? Remus? Not Peter!? Was Lenore a lesbian? Did his breath smell? Or heaven forbid, DID SHE NOT LIKE HIS HAIR?


End file.
